My Dorm Room in Yokohama

Nagtitingin-tingin ako ng mga larawan ngayon at nadaanan ko yung mga larawan ko sa kwarto ko nung ako ay naipadala sa bansang Hapon para sa isang pansamantalang trabaho. Naroon ako ng Pasko at bagong taon. Unang pagkakataon ko na malayo sa pamilya ko sa pinakamasayang panahon sa Pilipinas.

Naalala ko tuloy ang malamig na panahon. Taglamig kasi noon nung naroon ako. May mga panahon na ayaw sumunod ng tagapagkondisyon ng hangin na pampainit… minsan namamatay, minsan hindi tumatapat sa akin, o minsan sobrang lamig lang talaga ng panahon. May mga panahon na sobrang ramdam ko ang lamig, lalo na kapag nadidikit ako sa pader. Wala rin akong kumot. 😦

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Naawa lang ako sa unan ko… haha, wala akong pagpipilian kaya pinagtiisan ko na lang.

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Sinusubukan ko lang yung damit panlamig ko. Pupunta kasi kami sa isang pasyalan na maraming nyebe.

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Ang maluwag na kwarto ko.

Mabuti nga at di ako natakot dito. Matatakutin pa naman ako. Nauso pa naman dati ang mga nakakatakot na palabas mula sa Hapon. Kahit tinatakot ako ng mga kasama ko sa dormitoryo, kasi dalawa yung kama dito sa kwarto na ito, sinasabi nila minsan mayroon daw akong kasama sa kwarto. Hahaha! Di naman ako natakot, dun ko nilalagay sa kabilang kama yung mga tinupi ko nang damit.

Ngunit, naging masaya naman ang aking pamamalagi sa tulong ng mga kasama ko sa dormitoryo at yung mga masasarap na tanawin at pagkain ng mga Hapon! 🙂

It’s Been A Long Time When I Felt This Tired

Grabe pagod ko kahapon. Nakakadrain.

Nakakatulog na nga ako sa bus dahil sa sobrang pagod. Pakiramdam ko pa wala akong nagawa masyado kahapon. Pag-uwi ko sa bahay, buti na lang, di na ako nakakain dahil dumiretso na ako sa kwarto. Mabuting bagay pa rin. Hehe

So ngayon, I think I will be anxious about what I will be having later today. Kinakabahan ako. 😔 Pero ganun talaga. Tingnan ko na lang mamaya.

I Cannot Stay Like This

Na-mi-miss ko yung tao na papagalitan ako sa dahil sa katangahan ko ngayon. Kaso di ako pwede tumakbo ulit sa kanya for the same whining kasi ilang beses na nya akong pinagsabihan dati. Masyado kasing matigas yung ulo ko. Ayan, tuloy pa rin ang sakit.

I’ve been chasing someone. I don’t deserve this kind of treatment. I need to move on and get back to my previous state. When will I realize that I need to stop?

Dius Mamajes, Batanes! (2017)

Crossed this one off my bucket list last February 2017.

My perception of Batanes before was only from television and internet: tropical storms, old way of living, the headdress, stone houses, awesome coastlines… etc. I was thrilled because I can finally experience it.

We booked our flights in advance when Philippine Airlines had their anniversary sale. For me, it was not really a sale price because it costed us 10k each. But I don’t want to complain because it’s for the bucket list!

7 days in Batanes. Well, six tour days since the last day was our departure. My friends are pushing 5 days only but I thought, “sayang ang weekend” (weekend will be wasted). A week before our flight, there was a viral video showing people disembarking from a boat (faluwa) during high splashes of waves. It was scary for me since I do not know how to swim. I’m not sure if this is the exact viral video but this is the same experience:

We didn’t prepare an itinerary. Cramming… We were only able to book accommodation in Basco and in Sabtang (because I saw that one post in Facebook that you can actually stay in that iconic lighthouse in Sabtang).

We were able to experience the three major islands of Batanes: Batan, Sabtang, and Itbayat. Here are some highlights from our trip:

Day 1: We arrived in the morning. But since we didn’t get enough rest the day before our flight, we slept first before wandering around. so we looked for local tour in Basco. Luckily, we found Bisumi. We booked tours for Sabtang and Itbayat there so that Because we thought it is a must to bike in Batanes. We biked in the afternoon to Basco Lighthouse. No one was ready to bike, hahaha!

Welcome to Batanes! . . . #throwback #batanes

A post shared by Lester Joseph ☁️ ᜎᜑ (@iamlesterjoseph) on

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We waited till sunset on Naidi Hills, where the Basco Lighthouse is located. We went back to the town proper before it got dark.

Out first meal (dinner… we only ate snacks for lunch) was at D’ Islands Lodge and Restaurant.

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Day 2: We went to Sabtang. We joined a group tour in the morning.

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In the afternoon, we checked-in at Faberes Homestay. Nanay Adela (owner of the homestay) was kind enough to offer us another tour to the fishing village. Also, they also prepared our dinner, fresh catch from the fishing village. Staying overnight at Sabtang Lighthouse was such an experience.

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Day 3: Coconut crab for breakfast? Why not. I took a bite just to taste. Yummy!!! I don’t want to eat more since I am allergic. There’s also a spot where we can take a dip to the water (as part of our stay in the homestay).

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We went back to Batan and then took a tricycle tour around North Batan.

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Day 4: We went to Itbayat. This is it. We survived the waves. It almost turned our intestines upside down. And the boat was fully jampacked. We heard that there were no trips before that day due to the weather so people got stuck at the port. In the afternoon, we went to the Burial Caves, the old PAG-ASA site in Itbayat and airport.

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Day 5: Early morning trek and waited for sunrise at Rapang Cliff. We were not that prepared for that trek, but it was worth it!

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By lunch time, we were heading back to Batan. We were prepared not to eat that much so that we won’t throw up. Fortunately, the sea was more calm that day.

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I miss turmeric rice. We order it most of the time when it is available.

Day 6: We completed the trip by going around South Batan. We went to visit the towns: Mahatao, Ivana and Utugan. On this trip we were able to visit a few churches, the honesty cafe/store, Marlboro Hills (which is quite cold windy) and Tayid Lighthouse.

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Day 7: Our departure from Batanes Airport to Manila… Back to reality, haha!

If only we could… ✈ . #clouds #morning #sunshine

A post shared by Lester Joseph ☁️ ᜎᜑ (@iamlesterjoseph) on

Such a bliss. Even though we didn’t have any internet connection during our stay, we are fully contented with during our stay.

I would like to go back to Batanes someday. Maybe try to trek Mount Iraya or simply just disconnect with busy Manila.

I’m Frustrated With You

As much as want to keep this to myself, I can’t seem to find someone to talk through with my thoughts.

I’m frustrated with you. And I know I’m whining again like the last time.

I’m frustrated. I feed sad. I feel that my efforts are not yet sufficient and yet I see you have time for other things. I don’t demand your full attention because I’ve known you long enough, you want to keep your privacy.

I’ve crossed lines just to deliver things for you. I understand your excuses, your alibis. But I was thinking, if I were to list down all my requests, (no, not requests) my invitations to you, most of the time I was rejected. On the other way around, anything you say to me, I always make time to fulfill it. It’s kind of frustrating.

My invitations are just simple. I just want have someone to go watch movies with, have a drink, have a meal, somewhere to visit nearby… I know it may be an expense to you, but all those time that I do for you, I also got an expense. And you seemed to be disconnected most of the time.

This stresses me out.

Looking at a higher perspective, we do not have any interests in common. I tried my best, even go beyond halfway. But I feel that my efforts are under appreciated, and I feel that I can easily be replaced.

It has been a year, but I feel that you still don’t consider me as a true friend. I feel sad.

If only I could cry this out so that this heavy heart of mine can let go.

What’s Holding Me Back?

I don’t know.

I’m self sufficient and I’m longing.
I am willing to take risks and I’m hesitant.
I didn’t signed up for that and yet I signed up for another.

I was not sure from the start. I was nervous but I got no expectations. You looked weird, very cautious.

I was not sure from the start. I was nervous but I got no expectations. You looked great, very cheerful.

I never thought this can continue to the point I lost myself to you.

I never imagine this can continue and thinking that this will not work.

I was selfish in both ways.

So what’s holding me back? I should try, give chance, and enjoy the moment. I pray, one day I wake up with courage to face them both.